Conversations with a five year old

When one decides to have a conversation with a five year old, one must remember that said conversations involve the theory of "hit" or "miss".

Subjects must understand that several factors are incorporated into the objective of having a complete conversation. And these could include environment, atmosphere, physical condition and of course outside factors.

Ladies and gentlemen, I present, Exhibit A:

This would be a very good example of HIT.

Exhibit B presents a good example of MISS:

The first photo was taken when there were no other outside factors, the child was bored, there was an opportunity to talk on a cell phone, and she had been away from the person she was talking to for two days.

The second picture depicts a conversation that the child was not at all interested in having, was involved in another project all together, had been taken away from Cheetah Girls on television, and apparently had ants in her pants.

When I moved to Windsor there was a deal struck that it wouldn't be such a bad thing because they would be able to talk to me on the computer through instant messenger and also on the phone. The phone has not proven to be so ideal.

Most of my conversations take place when Kim Possible is on television which results in dead conversation that involves me talking, and them saying "uh-huh" several times after a ten to fifteen second delay.

However, there is a moment when for some odd reason the planets are aligned and the stars match up where they are so definitely interested in speaking with me that I can actually have a conversation.

Case in point, Tuesday night when I called to wish my niece a happy birthday. We actually had a conversation and it went something like this:

A: Hi Cece
L: Hi babes, Happy Birthday!!
A: Tank you for my present
L: You're welcome, how was your day?
A: Good.
L: Did everyone sing to you?
A: No.
L: What?
A: (animated) Just kidding.
L: Did mommy send treats to school?
A: No.
L: What?
A: (giggling) Just kidding.
L: Were you a good girl?
A: No.
L: What?
A: Just kidding.

At this point she fell into a fit of giggles and proceeded to have a very lengthy discussion with me about her birthday, her classmates, her sister, her mother, her father, her bus driver, her friends, her presents, her bed, her blankies, and some unintelligble that may or may not have involved a dream she had the night before about a bug at the babysitters.

And then she got into trouble for not eating her dinner.

I knew there was a reason she was so talkative.

I'll have to remember this when she's 16 and we can't get her off the phone.

Where does the time go?

This kid? Is FIVE. FIVE! Where does the time go? It's like yesterday she was born and suddenly she's five. With an attitude. And a personality. And an attitude. She's five! I cannot believe that this little baby, is suddenly a half a decade old!

Man, I love this kid. She's so special. And so adorable. And so precious. And I don't care how old she gets. She's still a baby. Even when she's pretending to be mad at you for taking ANOTHER picture of her. Because in the end, when she's crying because you're going home and leaving her, she's still a baby at heart.

Gene Simmons eat your heart out.

The Underground Bike Railroad

My older sister and I talk daily. Either by email or by phone. I love it when I go to call her and she's on the line when I hit the "TALK" button on the cordless. But today I had to call her because we're working out logistics for the kiddie birthday this weekend and I needed to know a few things.

While we were on the phone she was asking me if I could make another run to Target to pick up another bike should her friend want one like my niece for her daughter. Now, I think I might have mentioned it, but we scored a sweet little two wheeler for the older one for a whopping $36! Which in the grand scheme of things is a heck of a lot cheaper than the $100 they go for over here, especially when you factor in that with growth projections currently at the rate they are, this kid is going to outgrow this bike in about two years.

Then, while she was thinking about it, she realized someone else on the street may be interested in a new bike that's similar and would I make a second trip over to get that one. The conversation took a hilarious turn as I asked her if I was the bike pusher, or dealer for the neighbourhood bike trade. She added something else that I was laughing so hard at that I couldn't hear and it ended with "Just call it the Underground Bike Railroad".

Needless to say our conversation went off track quite rapidly as we then began to discuss ways of getting the younger one to be motivated to ride a two wheeler. Apparently she is in no hurry to relinquish the training wheels and when pressed to try to ride the two wheeler with my sister's hand firmly grasping her back she freaked out, jumped off the bike and screamed "I CAN'T DO IT!" Horrible aunt that I am I suggested pinning a treat to a string and a stick on her helmet so that she is motivated to ride the two wheeler. Now what a picture that would make.

We quickly got back to what we were originally going to discuss, which was the logistics for the "who was going to pick up what and how were we going to go about it" plan. How kids birthday parties get this way is beyond me. It culminated in my desperate phone call from Toys R Us demanding to know if the Polly Pocket Pet Spa set would suffice for a cake topper since I couldn't find the Polly Pocket Beach set. Polly Freaking Pocket. Sigh... We have now planned to spend all night (if necessary) icing a cake and making food for the party on Saturday. I think my favourite part of the whole thing is the scheduled "Princess Dress Up Relay". To think we all had such boring "Pin the Tail on the Donkey" parties as children....

Only for my sister would I do these things. And only because I know that she'd be right there doing it for me if I needed her to.

Lest We Forget

Somehow, the trivial mundane aspects of my life seem unimportant in the face of such loss.

TGIFour day weeks rock

So tonight I decided to go on a little adventure. Which is quite fun really. Even though I anticipate being harassed by my new little Windsor friend who feels I should not be sitting around doing nothing on my nights off rather cruising the strip in Windsor. Hello little friend!

Anyways...decided to take a little adventure. An adventure in Michigan. Which is always fun, no matter what you do. I wanted to go up to The Scrapbook Zone in Farmington Hills. They've been sending me emails for about two weeks about all the NEW STUFF and the SALES so I figured it was worth a trip on a Friday night. It also provided me an opportunity to hit Target and Meijer as well.

See, I'm looking for a couple of things to add to my niece's birthday gifts and the last time I went looking for a couple of these neat things, I found them at Meijer. But of course, as luck would have it, no carrying cases or games for a specific type of video game system that she has. And also as luck would have it, I didn't want to run the risk of claiming too much at the border and getting nailed for it. You know it's going to happen, and there just might be steaks involved and you KNOW that's not going to be pretty.

Uh, where was I? Oh right, Target and Meijer. So I ended up in a richie rich kind of area which was sweet because you know the Meijer is going to be good, except it really wasn't. But Target was kind of good. I managed to pick up the LOST DVD set for $35! And they throw in a $5 gift card with it! How it can sell for $65 up here is beyond me. Methinks someone is trying to screw us.

Heh, I typed screw up. Heh.

So my two little experiments which I shalt not discusseth are currently operating successfully. Love.

Oh and Rick Mercer finally updated his blog. Anyone else excited? Ya I didn't think so.

It's a Bugs Life

Oh ho ho, look who came to the Pot Luck on Sunday!

We won't discuss the 3 inch millipede climbing across my cubicle wall yesterday.

Ie yie yie!

Peel me a grape

I was made for this life. Well, not THIS life, but the life of a pampered woman. One who has all kinds of great things done for her. Including, tonight's treat a pedicure. This is in addition to the lovely treatments I had done while in Belmont and close to my favourite esthetician.

I swear, my feet are SOFTER than a baby's bottom. And my aunt's feet (the others in the photo) are even softer.

After matching pedicures where we soaked and cackled over today's happenings, we went for my other downfall--Greek food at The Hungry Wolf. There is something in their salad dressing that makes it so magical.

Yes, it's almost sad that I have to go back to being a mere normal every day working Joe tomorrow. Sigh...garcon! Another glass of wine!

pulchritude

Something funny happened to me when my nieces were born. I turned into this person who would do anything if anything happened to them. I became frightened of things that I didn't even think about before. I worried about stupid little things like how they felt or what they were thinking during certain situations. Rather then let them do something on their own, I wanted to do it for them. Protect them. Shelter them.

Then I learned that by doing so, they weren't really learning anything. And as they age, I'm actually the one who learns a few things. Now their mother, my sister, seems to know it all. I think it was in the manual she was given in the delivery room. You know, the one that all mothers get that tells them just how to anticipate situations and deal with things. At least, that's what had to have happened, considering that there are moments when she has to tell me to let them do it, let them live it, let them LEARN it.

Tonight I rented Akeelah and the Bee. A movie that I highly recommend. Not just for someone who has children, or is around children. It's one of those feel good movies that makes you think.

I should preface this with the knowledge that it's kind of a sure thing that a movie for children is going to have a lesson in it. Or some heartfelt meaning. Or something that will makes kids go hmmm when they watch it. My real point for getting it was to teach my older niece about the things you can do when you learn. The things you can accomplish when you try. The things anyone can want to have happen in their lives. What I didn't know was the lesson it was going to teach me.

There were a couple of moments in the movie that I had to really try and come up with an explanation for. Like when one kid mentioned sexual assault (uh, it's just a thing, I can't really explain it to you) or another moment that I won't mention for fear of ruining the movie. But these movies, that always end up having a lesson in the end for the kids, teach me something about them. Teach me something about myself. Teach us both something about how we both react to the movie.

I like that they make these movies for kids. That they aren't just fluffy little cartoons that entertain, but movies that make them think. We've had a few lately--Dreamer, Aquamarine, and now Akeelah. Aside from the fact that I was able to sit with my older niece (something she seems to be growing out of lately) and watch a lesson unfold in front of us and explain to her that there is nothing she CAN'T do and there is also nothing she shouldn't do because she's afraid.

I'm not eloquent, or articulate, and sometimes I really don't make any sense at all. But when I experience these moments with my nieces, when I see this dawning realization on their faces when they understand, something magical happens. It's beautiful to witness and it makes me feel happy to share these moments with them.

pulchritude \PUL-kruh-tood; -tyood\, noun: That quality of appearance which pleases the eye; beauty; comeliness; grace; loveliness.

Watch out, this one is going to be boring

Here I am, in London, for another weekend. Actually, it's kind of funny because every time I turn onto the street that links to my sister's place I think of something my cousin says. My cousin who lives around the corner from my sister. He sees me here and he says "why don't you just pay taxes here already?" and it makes me laugh. And making me laugh, is nice.

I swear to sugar pops that this week has been absolute torture for various reasons but mainly because I have missed my nieces desperately. Spending a few days with them last week made me crazy for sure with all the work, but not having them yammering around has been quite awful.

You see, the reason why is because my youngest niece has reached that age. That age where everything she says and everything she does is freaking hilarious. She's going to be five in a few weeks and frankly, I couldn't adore her more. Even when she's bad!

She got her hair bobbed at the beginning of the summer and I absolutely love it. Because little brat has that wonderful blessing of GOOD HAIR. Which makes it even funnier when she does stuff, because her cute little bob goes all bouncy and cute. But the reason I mention it is because I went out and bought them both these cool little pairs of BRATZ sun glasses and she puts them on so that the arms are on top of her hair but still being her ears. Hilarious. And then she does this head bob thing (which actually reminds me of Jen for some odd reason) when she looks at you when you're talking to her and it makes me want to pull the van over to squeeze her.

But the stuff she says and the way she reasons crap out? Brilliant. Last week, when I came downstairs she was engrossed in something on television. And when I went to change it she gives me this big spiel about how she is watching a show about a little girl who is going to go to school and needs new shoes and pencil crayons and if we send them to her she will write us a letter and a picture that we can keep. What was she watching? The Christian Children's Fund Infomercial. Ya, she's just that cute.

And of course, she left her blankets at my house, and the kid is a blanket FIEND. She has about 12 of them that she sleeps with. And they all have names and personalities. So she left "Rainbow Blankie" and "Gingham Blankie" at my house when she left so I sent her a digital picture of them to prove to her that they were there because she didn't believe me when I said they stayed with me to keep me company this week (ya, lame story, I know, why should she believe it) and she saw the picture and cried. The first words out of her mouth when I walked in the door were not Hi, How are you? or I'm so glad to see you. Nope, "where's blankies?" Nice. Nice to know how loved I really am.

A few weeks ago, the two of them were talking about what they want to be when they grow up. The older one wants to be a teacher because they make lots of money and get summers off. The younger one wanted to be a "vegetarian" you know, the people who take care of sick animals? Well, she changed her mind after listening to Hilary Duff. Now she wants to be a rock star. Because rock stars are so "kewl".

Finally, my older niece and I were snuggling last week and she asked me why I like to go places and travel all over. It's a question I've never actually gotten before from them. Normally it's all "bring us presents" and "when are you going away again to get us charms for our bracelets?" so you can imagine how stumped I was at this question. So I told her why, I like to meet new people, and see new things, and experience different foods and lives. She seemed satisfied with that answer and told me that when she grows up, she wants to travel like me too. Wait until she's old enough to understand what real traveling is about!!!

Alright, that's enough monotony for one night. I'm off to see my friends I haven't seen since (gulp) Christmas--I'm not really THAT bad of a friend, we all live in different cities and this is the first time we're all in town at the same time!