Thursday, June 04, 2009

Silence is deadly

So...I've been thinking about this blogging thing. In a way that makes me think that maybe it's time to just move along. As in, I have nothing left to say. Well, I do have plenty to say, just not here.

The thing is, I started this thing four years ago. Four years ago my life was really different. I was living on my own in an apartment I hated. I had two jobs and still couldn't make ends meet. I hated both jobs and thought that I would never find a job that allowed me to do the things I really wanted to do. I honestly felt that life sucked and was never going to get better. Oh, did I mention I was two months away from my 30th birthday and thought that life was going to end for me then because I wasn't married or had kids? Ya, that too.

I pretty much spent my time complaining about life and the people around me. So much so that I worried about my own sanity. But then life suddenly changed. I got a new job. I moved to a new city. I started doing new things. And then the other shoe dropped. For those who have been around since the beginning, you know this is a clone of the first blog but with a more watered down feel. I made the mistake of airing my ID one day and thought better of it and shut it down. From that point on I talked about nothing of importance and just filled people in on things.

I've been honest. I've been candid. I've put myself out there. But sometimes it wasn't always good to do so. Some people took advantage of this and tried to use it against me. Some people made comments about it. Some people took it completely out of context. And that made me sad. Because what had started as a way to just talk and to share my life with people who didn't get to talk to me every day had become something I didn't like.

Don't get me wrong, there are people who read this and know all about me and share my ups and downs with me. But these are also people who I talk to on a regular basis and can do so without the addition of the blog. Facebook and now Twitter have taken over my spare time on the computer and really, with what I do on a daily basis, sitting in front of a computer trying to think of something clever to say really doesn't work so well.

So that leads me to this. I'm going to put the blog on hiatus. Maybe I'll have something to say in the future. Maybe I won't. I just don't feel right deleting it all together but I also don't want to be honest and commit to posting something all the time. I'm not really this great writer who has clever things to say all the time. I'm just me. And if you really want to talk to me, why don't you email me? Because really, reading this makes me sad since what I say is really half of who I am.

Thanks for joining me. Maybe we'll chat soon.