Gray's Anatomy Lesson

Did you know that you can function without 3 inches of your bowel? This is one of the things I learned this weekend. In addition to the fact that there are clearly not as many supply closets for doctors to have sex in in a real hospital. That there are no on call rooms with nice beds to sleep in. Also that doctors don't just stand around having inappropriate conversations in hallways all day long.

However, I did learn that you can function without this much of your bowel and how did I find this out? Well my mom had to have emergency surgery to remove part of her bowel, her appendix and an abscess. The worst part was trying to comfort her on the way down to surgery when she thought that she was going to die. That broke my heart trying to console her and tell her she was going to wake up and there was nothing to worry about.

Thank goodness for the wonderful health care professionals at LHSC in London. The nursing staff was fantastic even when they were trying to figure out when I was leaving so they could do their job.

Believe it when you see it

I used to scoff at "those" pet people. The ones who paid an arm and a leg for medical tests or procedures to save their four legged friends. How could they spend ALL that money on something as silly as a pet?

That was until I got a pet of my own. Until I fell in love with a four legged fur ball. Until I managed to let a tiny little man infiltrate my life as wholly as this one did. I have become one of "those" people.

The other night I came home from work to discover my little man was limping. My little man would cry if you touched his leg. My little man was suffering. And I cried. I actually said the words "my poor baby" and I called the 24 hour vet. I took him for xrays. I paid a lot more money than I expected to find out what was wrong with his leg.

Turns out he got his leg stuck somewhere in the laundry room. I believe he got it jammed in the cat door and tried to yank it out. And it was bruised, and damaged, and he was in pain. My poor baby was injured and there was nothing I could do.

Then I brought him home and he cried for his sister. So I brought him down to the laundry room to her (there was flooring being installed and she's got an issue with peeing on things still...) and when I went to check on him yesterday, he was nowhere to be found.

I believe what escaped my lips was "oh don't do this to me again!". I found him. He was hiding behind the washing machine and I had to coax him out with a feather toy. Now he lays on the floor beside me in his pink cast that he has to drag along behind him and he looks at me with these big sad eyes and it breaks my heart.

Yes, I have become one of "those" people. The people who fall in love with a furry little animal who hides behind washing machines, gets themselves stuck in kitten doors, and pees on beds. I wouldn't trade him for anything.

All good things...

Dexter and Oliver, July 2009

My cousin's beloved kitten Dexter passed away last night. It was weird really. Sudden and completely unexpected. He had been acting funny most of the day. Really jumpy and nervous. He was playing really rough with the baby and it was out of the ordinary for him. Later on, he was standing at the window and suddenly jumped in the air. He landed funny and seized up. Then he started breathing funny and finally stopped breathing.

We never had pets growing up so I had no idea what to do, what to expect, what happens. I wrapped him in a towel and brought him to my aunts house. My uncle was going to bury him next to her other beloved cat--Mouse who passed away a few weeks ago after suffering from cancer.

It's strange how pets become so entwined in your life. How they become a part of your family and you adore them the way you do. And it's equally strange how empty you feel when something happens. Oliver keeps looking for his buddy. He'll meow and look around. If he hears something that makes him think of Dexter he gets all excited and then walks back to the living room. He spent most of the day sleeping under the table--Dexter's favourite spot.

Rest in peace Dex. You were a great cat. Life just won't be the same without you.

Fool me once

Apparently I do have something to say. And really, I shouldn't lower myself to this place but I am so angry right now I really must.

Turns out, someone is saying some really hateful untrue things about me. Like how I took advantage of them. Or how I disrespected them. Or how I broke their hearts.

Funny, these are the same people who bashed me to members of the family, who said bad things about me to their friends before all of this happened, who were willing to go after innocent people in the process in order to accomplish their own goals.

Guess this is what you get for being honest, for not wanting to get involved, for trying to stay true to the person you are.

But then again, what did I expect? After all, a child learns what they live, and if they live with lies, they learn that that's acceptable behaviour.

It's just unfortunate that my reputation had to suffer. Believe what you want about me, but I can tell you this, if you believed that I was a good person because of the time you've spent with me or the interactions you've had with me, then you'll know what the truth really is. And who you should believe.

Silence is deadly

So...I've been thinking about this blogging thing. In a way that makes me think that maybe it's time to just move along. As in, I have nothing left to say. Well, I do have plenty to say, just not here.

The thing is, I started this thing four years ago. Four years ago my life was really different. I was living on my own in an apartment I hated. I had two jobs and still couldn't make ends meet. I hated both jobs and thought that I would never find a job that allowed me to do the things I really wanted to do. I honestly felt that life sucked and was never going to get better. Oh, did I mention I was two months away from my 30th birthday and thought that life was going to end for me then because I wasn't married or had kids? Ya, that too.

I pretty much spent my time complaining about life and the people around me. So much so that I worried about my own sanity. But then life suddenly changed. I got a new job. I moved to a new city. I started doing new things. And then the other shoe dropped. For those who have been around since the beginning, you know this is a clone of the first blog but with a more watered down feel. I made the mistake of airing my ID one day and thought better of it and shut it down. From that point on I talked about nothing of importance and just filled people in on things.

I've been honest. I've been candid. I've put myself out there. But sometimes it wasn't always good to do so. Some people took advantage of this and tried to use it against me. Some people made comments about it. Some people took it completely out of context. And that made me sad. Because what had started as a way to just talk and to share my life with people who didn't get to talk to me every day had become something I didn't like.

Don't get me wrong, there are people who read this and know all about me and share my ups and downs with me. But these are also people who I talk to on a regular basis and can do so without the addition of the blog. Facebook and now Twitter have taken over my spare time on the computer and really, with what I do on a daily basis, sitting in front of a computer trying to think of something clever to say really doesn't work so well.

So that leads me to this. I'm going to put the blog on hiatus. Maybe I'll have something to say in the future. Maybe I won't. I just don't feel right deleting it all together but I also don't want to be honest and commit to posting something all the time. I'm not really this great writer who has clever things to say all the time. I'm just me. And if you really want to talk to me, why don't you email me? Because really, reading this makes me sad since what I say is really half of who I am.

Thanks for joining me. Maybe we'll chat soon.

Good News

This week I've received two days of good news.

First, on Monday at my chiropractor. I mentioned to him the surgery I had had and part of it was to alleviate some pressure on my back and shoulders. He told me that he noticed there was a difference in several of the discs in my shoulder blade and neck area. He said that normally you don't see that much of a difference so soon but three of them were already realigning themselves. This was very good news to me.

Then today, I was given a great deal of praise at work and thanked for my dedication and commitment to the work no matter what was going on. Considering some of the crap that has hit the fan over the last few months and how I felt just two months ago, this was very welcome.

So you can imagine my happiness this week. I'm very grateful that things are going well. And I hope they continue to do so.

Love

Further proof I have the most adorable nieces...

My oldest niece says to me (about my surgery) "I hope you're not going to become addicted to your pain killers."
Me: "no, I stopped taking them last week".
Her: "Ok good because becoming addicted to drugs is bad".